I know intellectually that when talking about skin-cancer, that there is a 98% chance that it is no big whoop. Nothing to get upset about. It's not gonna kill me--which means it can only make me stronger, or more scarred up. I decided that when they do cut this ugly splotch off my head, that it will leave a big scar, that I will then have tattoo'd to look like a Harry Potter scar. People will then mock me on the Internets, equating me with Twilight fans who get Edward tats across their entire back. And I will hate them--because I dig the hell out of Harry Potter mythos, but I'm not really into fucking any of the characters. C'mon...I'm a grown woman.
My point is that I have a solid plan in place for dealing with this. I'm reasonably certain it's cancer. It's been changing size, shape, and color. Plus, my mom just had the same thing happen--which leads me to suspect it might be psyche meds that are causing it since she and I became cancerous at roughly the same time even though my mom is 20 years older than I. I started taking meds in my 20's, and she in her late 40's. But that is mainly guesswork and conjecture.
Even though I have a plan, a ride, and insurance--for some reason I am absolutely petrified of going to this appointment tomorrow. I want to cancel it and just not go. I don't want them looking at me, I don't want to get sliced up, and I don't want to have to tell people in my life that I have cancer. Cancer, like witchcraft, or drugs--scares people needlessly.
I have a long and glorious history of freaking out over things that later turn out to be nothing. Of course I am hoping this is one of those times. But I honestly can't recall being this frightened--at least not since the last time I had legal trouble, 15 or so years ago.
So...you know...Yipes!
On a completely unrelated topic, H and I have been married 3 years as of today.
Funny, since we started living together in 1999.
Actually dudes, I posted this on Dreamwidth and am crossposting it here. It doesn't mean I love you any less. Honest. On Dreamwidth? Add me: "Wednes."
My point is that I have a solid plan in place for dealing with this. I'm reasonably certain it's cancer. It's been changing size, shape, and color. Plus, my mom just had the same thing happen--which leads me to suspect it might be psyche meds that are causing it since she and I became cancerous at roughly the same time even though my mom is 20 years older than I. I started taking meds in my 20's, and she in her late 40's. But that is mainly guesswork and conjecture.
Even though I have a plan, a ride, and insurance--for some reason I am absolutely petrified of going to this appointment tomorrow. I want to cancel it and just not go. I don't want them looking at me, I don't want to get sliced up, and I don't want to have to tell people in my life that I have cancer. Cancer, like witchcraft, or drugs--scares people needlessly.
I have a long and glorious history of freaking out over things that later turn out to be nothing. Of course I am hoping this is one of those times. But I honestly can't recall being this frightened--at least not since the last time I had legal trouble, 15 or so years ago.
So...you know...Yipes!
On a completely unrelated topic, H and I have been married 3 years as of today.
Funny, since we started living together in 1999.
Actually dudes, I posted this on Dreamwidth and am crossposting it here. It doesn't mean I love you any less. Honest. On Dreamwidth? Add me: "Wednes."
Inquiries will reach me @: work, for now
Color Me: 
nervous
nervous42 telling remarks | Impress me with your wit
