Sat, 10:27: Team “We Hate Cancel Culture” strikes again. I’m really polite too. 🤣😂😏 Maybe she’s jealous because my last book is funnier than whatever pro-drunken sexual assault nonsense this is. https://t.co/pxsRqjkNY6
Thu, 14:38: Before the alt-reich outrage starts over #potatohead#potatogate I’d like to take a moment to remind everyone that potatoes are not assigned s #gender at birth & thus, can be any damn gender (or enby) they want. If it bothers you, keep your eyes on your own potato.
Wed, 13:04: But don’t forget, the alt-reich haaaates stifling free speech. Hates it. Guess Chachi isn’t as big a fan of “telling it like it is” after all. https://t.co/VbFQ7oQWty
Wed, 16:06: Why are ppl are so shocked whenever they find out that #liberal/progressive folks also own #guns? Readiness for a #zombie apocalypse is not limited to one political ideology. 🤣😂 Still, Wayne LaPierre and the @NRA can get bent over their silence over Phil Castile.
Wed, 18:43: It’s weird how all the #COVID deniers who were screaming that the #death numbers were exaggerated are now FURIOUS that #Cuomo was lowballing them. 🤔
Wed, 19:25: As it's been a year since I promised my husband I'd make a #will, I actually made one today. I can't have my dope-ass collection of @OriginalFunko Pops falling into the wrong hands after my demise...
Tue, 17:24: Wait a minute...#FireFauci is trending but Louis DeJoy is still getting paid by taxpayers to screw up one of our oldest public services? Say, @POTUS, I don't suppose you could get on this when you have a free moment...
Tue, 18:40: Attn: Ladies in every #crafting community, If you’re really “afraid” to tell your #husband how much you spend on crafting, your marriage is abusive. Domestic #abuse isn’t cute or funny. If you need help, PM me. If you don’t, stop making that “joke.”
Tue, 20:54: Hang on. How is there not a gay porn movie titled “All the President’s Men?” Somebody owes me an explanation.
Mon, 13:49: I spent $15 Earth dollars to see #Freaky. I was taken aback by how delightfully self-aware, fun, creepy, and charming it was. Vince Vaughn is always so great at portraying fun murderers. But who knew he could play a teenage girl? Also, I want that knife. Soooo stabby!
Mon, 19:17: SilverSpoon Babyman who stumbled ass-backward into the presidency & teflon'd his way through TWO impeachments and an attempted overthrow of a federal government demands to know why everyone is always picking on him. Related: Can somebody PLEASE get this MFer a Strunk and White? https://t.co/yK9Psn4CqA
Mon, 19:36: Apologies to frogs everywhere. Somebody needs to do this with all of these batshit vids. Still, it’s awful when a guy slowly but completely loses his mind right in front of everybody. https://t.co/aLTHtNads9
Tue, 07:41: I’ll be taking a break from mental well-being in order to focus on social media. You know, as long as my favorite person on Twitter is slowly disintegrating before my eyes. https://t.co/u3KvwEzaxp
Sun, 17:31: Been up all day working, but now I'm done. Time for a spicy tuna poke bowl for dinner, followed by enough #weed to couch-lock @SnoopDogg's entire crew. Plus I gotta watch #WandaVision again from the beginning, because JFC, Friday's ep!!!
Sat, 14:31: If you live with someone, going off your psyche meds and not telling them is a far worse betrayal of trust than adultery. If you do that and lose the relationship, that is 150% on you. So no, you cannot crash here, you selfish stupid SOB.
Sat, 19:09: Don jr calling out Romney about the "love he so desperately desires," as if he hasn't given up his entire life to be a "useful idiot" in service of a cruel, violent shitbag. It's as transparent as it is tragic. But sure, Democrats help people. Sick burn, bro. https://t.co/4aAGuwzdGO
Fri, 13:55: Long weekend of meeting deadlines (kinda) and filling orders. If the power goes out again, I will not be pleased. Also, these Blood on the Rocks soaps turned out delightful. You can git some at Scaredsoapless dot com. https://t.co/cMK3efn591
Fri, 14:41: It’s weird how the #GQP is totally cool with travelers from a disease-ridden nation crossing the border to find safer conditions for their family...so long as the refugee in question is @tedcruz. Also, shouldn’t he be in quarantine now that he’s back?
Wed, 12:28: As a lifelong progressive tree-hugging Democrat, it’s unnerving to hear ppl on my own team say “the Weavers” deserve death or torture for writing a book they haven’t even read. Irony is, the book is hilarious and would probably put them in a better mood.
Wed, 13:00: If even nice people are rejoicing at your death, you lived the life of an asshole.
Wed, 18:13: They: "Can't you think of ONE decent thing to say about Rush Limbaugh?" Me: I can think of 2. 1. He was pretty funny on Family Guy that one time. 2. He can never hurt anyone else ever again. #goodriddance#RotInHellRush#RotInHell
Wed, 18:17: Does anybody know how I can get cast in one of these @DisneyStudios villain movies? I was born to play Mad Madame Mim.
Wed, 18:49: More death threats? Really? If you don't have anything better to do than wish for my violent demise, your boring-ass life must super suck. FFS, if @DonaldJTrumpJr gets elected to something, it won't be because of me. I'm not remotely that powerful, & I loathe his politics. Duh.
Thu, 07:56: They (all last month): How can you tell @tedcruz to resign? He hasn’t been charged with a crime! People need him! Me: For what? *today* Me: Ted Cruz is flying off to someplace warm while Texans are freezing and dying. They: Wow, maybe he should resign. Me: You think? 🤬🤯
Thu, 08:17: Here’s an idea, never EVER try to pull rank on me when discussing #TheAddamsFamily... ...as if I haven’t been living and breathing it my whole life. Just don’t do it. *nike swoosh*